What a trip this has been!

I woke up this morning and could not wait for my results from the MRI one second longer so I called my neurologist and asked if they were in. She said they were and that I was actually number 4 on her list of people to call, but seeing as I called her she would let me move to the top of the list. She was trying to be funny, at the moment I didn't appreciate it, now it's hilarious and honestly something I might say given the chance. It turns out there are the white spots in my brain, yes I have one, and that I do need to see where the hole in my heart is and how bad it actually is, yes I have one of those to- it's just got a hole in it. She then gives me a number to call and have the bubble test done and lets me get on with my day. How nice of her, I cried my eyes out and seriously just sobbed for about a good 2 minutes at what point Xavier seeing me crying comes up to me and hugs my legs and stars whimpering because he doesn't like seeing me upset. I sit with him on the couch and hug him and tell him it's all going to be alright, and then it hit me. It will be alright and now that I had my little pity party it was time to get on with it and see what we need to do to get this thing fixed.

I called the heart center, I can't remember the name of the center, and they scheduled me with Dr. Brian Whisenaut, MD Cardiologist and the list goes on, for June 8 at 8:30 bright and early in the morning. Well not really because I have an almost 2 year old and lets face it sometimes I wish for nap time at 8. The very nice gentleman explained what was going on and what will be happening and here is what he told me. I have what is called PFO. Basically while in the womb we all have a hole in our hearts connecting the left side and the right side to pump blood thru bypassing the lungs, obviously because we aren't using them at this point. At birth the pressure in the heart changes and the hole closes at about 18 months, now that we are using the lungs for oxygen blood no longer needs to pass thru between both sides. The right side of the heart pumping now to the lungs and the left side to the brain. They told me about 1/5 of the population has this PFO and don't even know it. If it is found at all it is at the autopsy and never repaired because there was no need to, no problem came about and so no need to go looking for it. With people like me who have migraines all the time the hole needs to be closed off so that later in life serious complications don't rise.

On June 8th at 8:30 in the morning I will be going in for an ultrasound bubble echo of my heart. An iv with agitated saline solution (think of the carbonation in Dt. Coke, those bubbles in saline) will be introduced into my blood stream and with the ultrasound they will watch for the bubbles to cross over thru the heart to the left side, the wrong side, to not only locate where it is, but how much blood is transferring back and forth. With the PFO the size of the hole isn't the real issue, the issue is the amount of blood. I could have a tiny hole and a ton of blood passing thru and I could have a huge hole and only a tiny amount passing.

To repair the hole they will administer local anesthesia to my groin upper leg location and I will be able to watch the entire procedure if I so desire. And if I want them to they will talk me thru it. Weird is all I have to say to that. I will have Valium to relax me while this is going on. If all goes well it takes between 30 minutes and no more than an hour to repair. They keep me for the day or overnight depending on the time of the procedure, mainly keeping an eye on the artery they used to plug the hole. They want to make sure it's properly stitched so it doesn't bleed and cause bigger problems.

So I have had an eventful day and am looking forward to some nice peaceful rest and a calmer day tomorrow. If you know about this procedure or about the Dr. please feel free to let me know what you know. My mom's friend knows of him and sang his praises today so that made me feel good knowing at least one person out there liked the guy and what he does. Goodnight for now and as always stay tuned!

Bear with me while I freak out just a little...

It's been a while and I am sitting down writing this knowing I should wait, but I really can't. I think waiting is the cruelest thing doctors invented, let me explain. I started having migraine headaches when I was in the 8th grade. I had some scans taken and that was all that ever came about, then on out I have a low grade headache up to present day. A week ago a migraine explodes and lasts for a number of days all the while my family is trying to get me to go to the ER and also to find a neurologist to possibly get this taken care of. Whatever this is. Last Wednesday I finally have had enough, I lost control and yelled at my son for not taking a nap, stupid thing to yell over and I still feel so incredibly awful about it. All I wanted to do was sleep, and he wanted to play, as he should, he's almost 2. My mom came and took me to the new hospital, fantastic if I do say so myself, and they gave me a migraine cocktail. The headache went away and stayed away for a few days of absolute heaven! I had my neurology appointment yesterday where she told me she is concerned that I may have a hole in my heart that is allowing small clots into my brain causing tiny strokes triggering the migraines. Great! Or it could be sleep apnea due to my enormous tonsils that I still have. This coming Wednesday I am going in for an MRI of my brain to see if there is evidence of this hole that is in my heart. If white spots show up then I get to talk to a cardiologist and have heart surgery. I was planning on getting pregnant like now and that is waiting til after Wednesday for sure to see if in deed I need surgery. If all goes as I hope and pray it will, then they will tell me all is fine with my heart and my brain and that I can go ahead with the having of another baby. My family is coming over on Sunday to give me a blessing and I can not tell you how much that has helped me. Just to know that they are there for me in this my time of need to administer to me is a great calming effect. I know that either way I will be looked after and all will be well. I will make it thru this and I hope to report that this was just a cruel trick plotted by doctors, the waiting game. Till then, stay tuned.

Tragic I know.

Tragic it was that frightful day when all of a sudden my blackberry storm fell on to the tile floor. No big deal was my initial thought because I am always dropping something, never my son just to get that out there. I pick up the device and what to my horror I find, a crack! And not just one, oh no that would be livable. There are many all in the corner and out into the main screen. I gasp, and am about to seriously scream when I realize I actually bought the insurance on the phone and can get it replaced. It came today and I am so excited to have my beautiful storm back in perfect condition. I just need to have all of my numbers pictures and videos over to the new one and all will be well in the world. I tried to do this with backup assistant, but I don't have the menu needed on my phone to do it myself, a load of crap in my humble opinion, so I am hoping the people in the store can do it for me in a timely manner. Like Fast. Well I'm off to do my hair and make it look like I haven't been sitting around for something to do all day. Shh that one is our little secret!

Hahahahahaha, Xavier is so funny.

I really don't have anything to update, and I feel like updating my blog, so here it goes.

Jimmy starts working from home tomorrow! Instead of working sun up to sun down at two different jobs, in practically the same parking lot, he gets to sleep a tiny bit longer and will no longer have an excuse for being late. Not that he makes it a habit, he just doesn't have that excuse. He has an hour and a half break between jobs and it wasn't worth it to come home to West Jordan from Riverton when it takes 30 minutes one way. Now he can come up stairs and have lunch with Xavier and I can talk to him and feel like a married person and not a single mother. The only problem will be making sure that Xavier doesn't see Jimmy go down stairs after a break because he stands at the gate at the top of the stairs and yells, "DADDY DADDY DAD DADDY DADDY" and so on and so forth. We can stay up stairs in our rooms where he has toys and books and things to play with so he won't be bored, I hope. I am really looking forward to it and didn't think I would really care all that much, but as it turns out I am kinda lonely and have enjoyed Jimmy setting up the office in the basement and being home for the past few days getting ready for the transition. I like that it will feel like only working one job being that he only actually goes to one job. And now overtime will be a snap, just go downstairs and log in and make the money. I love that he is so willing to let me stay home and raise our son the way I see fit and to instill the values and ideals that I want him to have, and to be that one person that is there for him at anytime of the day. I didn't want someone else to do that in part because I am a selfish person by nature and also because my mom stayed home until I was in the 6th grade and even when she went to work it was after we went to school and she was home before we did. Anyway, That is about all that is new in my world.

Oh, and Xavier is growing and now the to long pants he used to wear are actually floods and I need to buy him pants that fit properly. It's funny to see him walk around with now to short pants.

Well that is all for now, as always stay tuned.

An update if you please.

It has been a process moving into our own home and trying to keep up on my blog. It is easy to fall into the habit of not updating it, and I know that my following would be in hysterics if they didn't get their dose of lissa news every now and again. Ha ha ha oh, I crack my self up, but seriously, they would.

So here goes. The house is FANTASTIC! I finally have it painted the way I want it for now, I am thinking I want some sand colored walls in random places just to add some accent in other areas of the house, keeping the ceiling white. Decorating it is another story. There are just so many things I want to put in my house and the ideas are flowing, the problem is the money just isn't keeping up with my thought process. As some of you know I have a thing for clocks and the one in the living room and the one in the kitchen just aren't cutting it for me. I have my eye one two at Target that are fabulous and will make me a very happy girl. I also need a few rugs as I have hard wood floors and tile in just about the entire house. The only rooms that have carpet are the bedrooms and the family room, and one flight of stairs leading to the basement. The flight of stairs going to the bedrooms is hardwood. I like it, it's just cold on the toes and we all know how I feel about socks. It also echos like you wouldn't believe. The couches and the wall hangings help a tiny bit, but when I get some good sized rugs on the floors of the living room and kitchen, also up in the hallway between the bedrooms, it will cut it down a ton! I hope.

Jimmy is working as always and is hoping to start working from home with the second job, that he goes in first to. Figure that one out! Again I laugh at my own jokes. He likes the work and loves his main job at eBay, I like that he likes going to work so that I can continue to stay home and not really have to do a whole lot. I watch my mothers neighbors kid twice a week and now I go and help out with my grandma Doris four times a week for lunch, it helps a little and that is nice.

About my grandma Doris. She seems to be in good spirits and that has me relieved. She would always joke about living to be 100 years old and made the comment the other week to my mom that she didn't know if she was going to make it or if she even cared to anymore. That had us all worried and thinking that she had given up on life, but when I was over there this past Thursday she made the joke again and it was like old times the entire time I was there. She said that she didn't want anymore snow to fall, that she was sick of it and glad she no longer had to shovel it. Not that she has had to in years, but I looked at her and told her that part of her room and board was snow removal so we needed to get her shoe size to get her a pair of boots. She laughed at that and said she would get right on it and then said she was signing up for a marathon next week. It was fun. I go over at lunch time to make sure she gets her noon medication and lunch mainly, also to keep her company and to help her if she needs it getting to and from the bathroom and in and out of her chair while I am there. I am happy to do it and need nothing out of it, but they insist on paying me to spend time with her, if it makes them happy then I will take it. They know how I feel about it and that's why they asked me to do it instead of another money driven family member that I will leave nameless in this post.

Xavier is rapidly approaching the big 2! He is shooting up like a little weed, and I guess that's what I get for feeding him and loving him and all that. I just love being home with him and watching him develop so fast, it seems everyday he adds a new word to his vocabulary or strings a couple of words together to get across what he wants more clearly. He is stuck on having clean hands at the moment. If there is something on them he stops what he is doing, usually eating, and will say hand over and over until it is wiped clean. It's a good thing that I hope follows him through life, being clean.

Well that wraps another edition of The Shaeffer Family Times, stay tuned my friends!

Ah, hooray for being in my own house!

We are all moved in and all is well! Our wall in the front room slash kitchen is finally painted and it looks amazing! We had our first poker night and it felt real that it was our own home and that was so cool to realize that I am in my own home and I don't have to worry about waking anyone but Xavier up. I am with out a computer at the moment and am at my Moms house updating this blog and watching the bachelor tonight. So don't worry that you haven't read anything in a while, I am working on getting the computer in my place soon I hope. More to come! Stay tuned.

Lesson learned, but who does this?

As you know I am in the process of moving and at the moment we are getting the kitchen all unpacked and in order then we will move on to the family room. Well let me back up for a moment. When we moved out of our apartment I had just had our baby and wasn't up for packing and standing on my feet for long periods of time, or sitting, or hunching over, pretty much the only thing that didn't hurt was to be on my back so I was at my Moms house while Jimmy and who ever else packed up and moved it all to the storage unit. I was grateful, till today when we went to put the dishes away. They, Jimmy's Mother, packed my dishes that were not clean. She packed dishes that were filthy! They had needed to be washed and instead of washing them back then I spent hours with Ryley and Jimmy washing and soaking them a year and a half later. Is that weird that I am so mad about it? I don't think so. As I was washing I kept saying, "She will never ever ever ever ever help us pack again." And then when we would find another item that needed to have been washed before packing up for storage I would repeat, "never ever ever ever ever again." There is still a few boxes that need to be washed and I'm sure I will find more that should have been, but seriously I would have washed them anyway but who packs dirty dishes to be placed in storage?

What a process!

I have moved 3 times in my entire life. My parents are the original owners of their home and have zero desire to move. Ever. I moved in to my condo with my husband when we got married, moved into our apartment together, and moved back into my parents home. Well now is number 4 and the process does not get easier, well let me take that back we have a storage unit that is already packed up and ready to go so there is minimal pack up time, but there is the dreaded unpacking and the putting away that is the daunting task. I love the idea of moving, but oh how I would love to just walk into my house and see that it has already been done for me. But I digress. Two trips to the storage unit down now we will unpack, wash and put all that away and then we will make two more, and soon we will be moved in.

I'm moving!

That's right kids! I am finally moving out of my parents house, now there is nothing wrong with living at home with mom and dad getting that out of the way. They are fantastic and have let us live in their house, eat their food and use their facilities for over a year now and it is so time to be out on our own. Again. I had a conversation with my brother the other day about living at home. I loved living at home before I got married. Zero rent and all the utilities taken care of. What a sweet deal! I got married and moved into a 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, one car garage condo in West Jordan and loved it. Well things got a little crazy and we couldn't afford it so we moved into a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment in Midvale. I had our beautiful baby boy while living there, and then the place flooded. My washer decided that it wasn't going to do a small load of laundry. Oh, no it was going to wash the carpets in EVERY ROOM. The complex was great about it, they came right out and started the clean up and the process of drying out the carpets. While this was going on we stayed at my parents house while they were in California. We get back into the apartment and they missed the closet. I don't know if they didn't see it, or if it disappeared, or if it's just one of those magic closets that only we can see. They missed it and it's full of black mold. They decide to blame us for that and long story made into a slightly shorter version, we moved back in with my parents. Getting back to the conversation with my brother, I tell him that it's not embarrassing to live with the parents in his shoes, 23 and single. It's slightly embarrassing to have to move back in with them after having moved out and have vowed never to be those people that move in with the parents because it's just to hard. I had to swallow a lot of pride to ask my parents, they were very willing and I need to clarify that living with them is not embarrassing, it's having to admit that I needed help that embarrassed me. I am very proud, and am working on it. And now we are moving into a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom 2 car garage fenced back yard, finished basement, beautiful house in back in West Jordan and I can only thank my parents for letting us get a handle on things and wait for this blessing that literally fell into our laps. This place even has a fire place and a horse shoe pit. Now I need to learn to play. For the next two weeks we are moving things into our new house slowly and on Valentines day we will officially be moved out and on our own. Again.

Bad news.

Today I found out that my Grandma Doris has Leukemia. This is so hard for me to share and I beg your patience and allow me to just go on for a while so I can maybe wrap my head around it and get a handle on myself, I just don't know how to take it or what to do. This explains why she has been sick the last while, long while. She never really fully recovered from her second heart surgery and has fallen a couple of times, such instances have left her anemic and just so weak that a hospital stay and rehabilitation was required for what we all typically have, the common cold. Now having her move in with her son doesn't seem like such a bad idea in theory. If they had only been nice to her while she was well and had a real relationship with her then instead of trying to cram one in now. If only. They all had a meeting in which Doris wanted my Mom to be in attendance, they not so politely reminded her that we, my family, are not family. Our only real connection was that of my Fathers brother, my Uncle Rolf and his daughter with my Aunt Susie. Well both my uncle and cousin have passed on and so there is no real string attached. That was so nice of them to point out what is clear in their eyes every time I see them. They talk about all of us as a nice big happy family when in practice we are the outsiders looking in. Earlier today I seriously wished that when my Grandma Reid died that we never would have started going to this so called "family dinner" and never gotten to know any of them. I would have seen them at the two above mentioned funerals, and that of my Grandma Keddington, but that would have been all. I wouldn't feel what I am feeling at this moment and I wouldn't loath the people that didn't value the life of my Grandma Doris. I know that is an outrageous statement for me to even think. I love her and I am grateful for all of the things she has taught and given me. She was the grandma that came to my baptism and to my confirmation. She was the grandma that loved me as a grandchild should have been loved, with out question or consequence. I am proud to say that I know her and have shared in her life these many years, now they seem few in number, but have been wonderful. Now she is not dead of course but the cure for leukemia is a bone marrow transplant and they are not going to do one on a 80 something year old woman who hasn't been in good health for some time now. I don't know. I just don't know.

Um, are you serious? And, how do I get it to stop?

On Tuesday and Thursday I watch my neighbors child(ren). Sometimes I have just one, same age as my son, and sometimes I have all three plus my own. For all of you math wizards that comes to four kids, the two older girls come after they get out of school for about an hour. Well today I had two of the three, and mine, and I ask her before she goes off to kindergarten if she needed lunch to which she states she did. So I make sandwiches for everyone and as I'm giving her the sandwich, made with love, she walks out the door and I'm thinking she is eating it on her way to school. Well, when Jimmy went to work a few hours later he found said sandwich on the dive way. She threw it on the pavement! If she didn't want it she should have said so! Not throw it on the ground, how is that acceptable behavior? I know she is in kindergarten, but come on now. I don't want to deny her food if she needs to eat before going to school, but I don't want to waste it either. I should have made the sandwich and right away thrown it in the garbage. I was so insulted and mad and from now on I am going to tell the mother that she needs to be fed before she comes because I don't have a money tree for them to just litter food on the sidewalk. Is that rude of me?
The second issue is while the little boys were playing the neighbor was chasing my son into a corner grabbing his shirt and throwing him to the floor. I was so shocked that I thought I saw something that didn't happen. Until it happened again. I went over to the boys and told the neighbor kid that we don't play like that and to go play with the toys, but when my back was turned he did it again! Three times for those of you counting. I have no clue how to address this with the parents because I don't want them to think I am one of those overprotective mothers that think everyones kid is after hers. That is not the case. I get after my son when I see him treating anyone unfairly. I don't know. Maybe I just need to not watch them. It messes with my sons nap times and if he is just going to get a beat down when my back is turned I can take him to play group elsewhere and he can have the interaction with a bunch of kids whose parents are in attendance. Ah, but then I am putting the neighbor in a bind having to find another means of babysitting. His family was doing it all before and well, they may have to do it again. We will see how Thursday goes, I will keep y'all posted.

Allow me to be a proud Mamma for just a moment.

Yesterday while I was in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast, I heard Xavier grunting a little in the front room. I thought he was stuck somewhere, yes it happens, or that he was pooping. Again. Neither one was the case, he was climbing on Dustin's wooden rocking horse and finally got up on top of it and was rocking away! It was a very proud moment in that before that moment when he decided he could do it he would come grab my hand and take me to the horse and sort of jump while pointing and grunting something that I take as meaning, "Put me on the horse silly lady, don't you know that's what I want?" He climbed back down before I could grab my camera and showed me how he climbed on the horse, and for a second time he rocked away. It was awesome to see him climb all by him self and very depressing at the same time. Although he needs me to feed and change and bath him and rock him to sleep, he no longer needs me to play up down on the rocking horse, my little guy is growing up.

How hard is it to use an iTunes gift card?

The answer you may be wondering is very very difficult, that is if your name starts with Melissa and ends with Shaeffer. That's right kids I, Melissa Shaeffer, had the most difficult time trying to use this gift card that I almost wanted to scream. I did kind of snap at Jimmy, but who knew that you have to click on redeem and then enter the number that is under the scratch off with coin part, and then download your crap? I would have known that if I would have read gift card, yes sad enough for me, it is printed clearly in idiot proof English and has clear step by step directions as to how to use said card. I just happen to be of the persuasion that I don't need directions and can figure it out on my own. Well I was mistaken. This has been a sad and tragic story of a girl who learned that if you take the time to stop and read the print that is there for the benefit of the user, not just there because someone needed something to do on a random Tuesday at work, then you can get things done in a minute instead 30. Seriously. It happened. Stop laughing, well who am I kidding I'm laughing my self. So take a lesson from me, we will call this one Lissa lesson number one, reading the directions. More lessons to come I'm sure.

My Grandma Doris

So as many of you know I have this Grandma who really isn't mine. Follow along carefully. She is my Fathers brothers mother in law. That makes her my cousins Grandmother and not really any relation of mine. What happened is when my Grandma Reid (my Moms Mother) died they started inviting us to their family dinners once a month. It started to feel as if I had a Grandmother, my Grandma Reid had Alzheimer's in a very advanced stage while I was growing up. I remember visiting her in a nursing home and her funeral. My Grandma Andersen didn't like me, not an exaggeration, but a statement of fact. Many of you also know I along with my brother were adopted and that is the sole reason why she didn't like either one of us. She let me know it a couple of times. So along comes Doris, my Grandma Doris, she loves me she comes to all of my functions growing up and all that wonderful stuff that you get your Grandparents to be part of. She had heart surgery to replace a leaky valve and then had to have a follow up surgery to replace the replacement because that one started leaking as well. The second surgery was the beginning of the end I'm afraid. She never fully recovered from that and then her lung started to fill with liquid and twice she has had to have it drained. A procedure that I do not wish on anyone. From that she slipped a little further and little by little her strength went. Over this Christmas holiday she got really sick and ended up in the hospital again. We went to go see her and it was all she could do to talk to us with out giving herself away. She herself told my Mother that she feels she is lower than a snakes belly and I really don't know how to take that statement. She left the hospital yesterday to put in a 20 day stint at a rehabilitation care center. Then when those 20 days are over she is being forced to reside with her son and his family. They are meeting today to clean her house out as if she is already dead and buried. It hurts my heart to know that all they care about is who gets what instead of reflecting on what an amazing woman she STILL is and the fun times they shared. I refuse to let them get me down. I am going to see her in the rehab home in just a little while and to be honest I am terrified as to what I may see. My Mother and my Aunt Susie both agree that she at best has 6 months left, and that makes me sad. I am still not completely over a few deaths and am still mourning some and to add another to that pile is not something I want to deal with at the moment. So here then is what I am going to do, I am going to go visit my Grandma Doris and tell her all the wonderful things her Great Grandson has been up to and I am going to take things one day at a time and cherish the time that I do have with my family. That my friends sounds like a plan.