Bear with me while I freak out just a little...

It's been a while and I am sitting down writing this knowing I should wait, but I really can't. I think waiting is the cruelest thing doctors invented, let me explain. I started having migraine headaches when I was in the 8th grade. I had some scans taken and that was all that ever came about, then on out I have a low grade headache up to present day. A week ago a migraine explodes and lasts for a number of days all the while my family is trying to get me to go to the ER and also to find a neurologist to possibly get this taken care of. Whatever this is. Last Wednesday I finally have had enough, I lost control and yelled at my son for not taking a nap, stupid thing to yell over and I still feel so incredibly awful about it. All I wanted to do was sleep, and he wanted to play, as he should, he's almost 2. My mom came and took me to the new hospital, fantastic if I do say so myself, and they gave me a migraine cocktail. The headache went away and stayed away for a few days of absolute heaven! I had my neurology appointment yesterday where she told me she is concerned that I may have a hole in my heart that is allowing small clots into my brain causing tiny strokes triggering the migraines. Great! Or it could be sleep apnea due to my enormous tonsils that I still have. This coming Wednesday I am going in for an MRI of my brain to see if there is evidence of this hole that is in my heart. If white spots show up then I get to talk to a cardiologist and have heart surgery. I was planning on getting pregnant like now and that is waiting til after Wednesday for sure to see if in deed I need surgery. If all goes as I hope and pray it will, then they will tell me all is fine with my heart and my brain and that I can go ahead with the having of another baby. My family is coming over on Sunday to give me a blessing and I can not tell you how much that has helped me. Just to know that they are there for me in this my time of need to administer to me is a great calming effect. I know that either way I will be looked after and all will be well. I will make it thru this and I hope to report that this was just a cruel trick plotted by doctors, the waiting game. Till then, stay tuned.